i love you, bell hooks

from feminist theory from margin to center

*praxis within any political movement that aims to have a radical transformative impact on society cannot be solely focused on creating spaces wherein would be radicals experience safety and support.  feminist movement to end sexist oppression actively engages participants in revolutionary struggle.  struggle is rarely safe or pleasurable.

*while it in no way diminishes the severity of the problem of male violence against womyn to emphasize that womyn are likely to use coercive authority when they are in power positions, recognizing this reminds us that womyn, like men, must work to unlearn socialization that teaches us it is acceptable to maintain power by coercion or force.

*though labeled "heterosexual", many womyn in this society feel little sexual desire for men because of the politics of sexual oppression; male domination destroys and perverts that desire.

*male violence against womyn in personal relationships is one of the most blatant expressions of the use of abusive force to maintain domination and control.  it epitomizes the actualization of the concept of hierarchical rule and coercive authority.  unlike violence against children, or white racial violence against other ethnic groups, it is the violence that is most overtly condoned and accepted, even celebrated in this culture.  society's acceptance and perpetuation of that violence helps maintain it and makes it difficult to control or eliminate.

*unlike working women, working men are fed daily a fantasy diet of male supremacy and power.  in actuality, they have very little power and they know it.  yet they do not rebel against the economic order nor make revolution.  they are socialized by ruling powers to accept their dehumanization and exploitation in the public world of work and they are taught to expect that in the private world, the world of home and intimate relationships, will restore to them their sense of power which they equate with masculinity.  they are taught that they will be able to rule in the home, to control and dominate, that this is the big pay-off for their acceptance of an exploitative economic social order.

*the home is usually this control situation and the target for his abuse is usually female.  though his own expression of violence against womyn stems in part from the emotional pain he feels, the pain is released and projected onto the female.  when the pain disappears he feels relief, even pleasure.  his pain is gone even though it was not confronted or resolved in a healthy way.  as the psychology of masculinity in sexist societies teaches men that to acknowledge and express pain negates masculinity and is a symbolic castration, causing pain rather than expressing it restores men's sense of completeness, of wholeness, of masculinity.

*men must begin to challenge notions of masculinity that equate manhood with ability to exert power over others, especially through the use of coercive force.  much of this work has to be done by men who are not violent, who have rejected the values of capitalist patriarchy.  most men who are violent against womyn are not seeking help or change.  they do not feel that their acceptance and perpetration of violence against womyn is wrong.  how can it be wrong if society rewards them for it?

*the focus on "men" and "male behavior" has overshadowed emphasis on womyn developing themselves politically so that we can begin making the cultural transformations that would pave the way for the establishment of a new social order. . . when feminism is defined in such a way that it calls attention to the diversity of womyn's social and political reality, it centralizes the experiences of all womyn, especially the womyn whose social conditions have been least written about, studied, or changed by political movements.  when we cease to focus on the simplistic stance "men are the enemy," we are compelled to examine systems of domination and our role in their maintenance and perpetuation.

*because there has been undue emphasis placed on feminism as an identity or lifestyle, people usually resort to stereotyped perspectives on feminism.  deflecting attention away from stereotypes is necessary if we are to revise our strategy and direction.  i have found that saying "i am a feminist" usually means i am plugged into preconceived notions of identity, role, or behavior.  when i say "i advocate feminism" the response is usually "what is feminism?"  a phrase like "i advocate" does not imply the kind of absolutism that is suggested by "i am".  it does not engage us in the either/or dualistic thinking that is the central ideological component of all systems of domination in western society.  it implies that a choice has been made, that commitment to feminism is an act of will.  it does not suggest that by committing oneself to feminism, the possibility of supporting other political movements is negated.  as a black womyn interested in feminist movement, i am often asked whether being black is more important than being a womyn; whether feminist struggle to end sexist oppression is more important than the struggle to end racism and vice-versa.  all such questions are rooted in competitive either/or thinking, the belief that the self is formed in opposition to an other.  therefore one is a feminist because you are not something else.  most people are socialized to think in terms of opposition rather than compatibility.  rather than see anti-racist work as totally compatible with working to end sexist oppression, they are often seen as two movements competing for first place.  when asked "are you a feminist?" it appears that an affirmative answer is translated to mean that one is concerned with no political issues other than feminism. . .the shift in expression from "i am a feminist" to "i advocate feminism" could serve as a useful strategy for eliminating the focus on identity and lifestyle.

*feminist movement. . . can transform relationships so that the alienation, competition, and dehumanization that characterize human interaction can be replaced with feelings of intimacy, mutuality, and camaraderie.

*unlike other forms of oppression, most people witness and/or experience the practice of sexist domination in family settings.  we tend to witness and/or experience racism or classism as we encounter the larger society, the world outside the home.

*in our society, sexist oppression perverts and distorts the positive function of family. . . even as we are loved and cared for in families, we are simultaneously taught that this love is not as important as having power to dominate others.

*politically, the white supremacist, patriarchal state relies on the family to indoctrinate its members with values supportive of hierarchical control and coercive authority. . .ironically, feminism is the one radical political movement that focuses on transforming family relationships.  feminist movement to end sexist oppression affirms family life by its insistence that the purpose of family structure is not to reinforce patterns of domination in the interest of the state.

*support of sexist oppression in much political writing concerned with revolutionary struggle as well as in the actions of men who advocate revolutionary politics undermines all liberation struggle.  in many countries wherein people are engaged in liberation struggle, subordination of womyn by men is abandoned as the crisis situation compels men to accept and acknowledge womyn as comrades in the struggle, e.g. cuba, angola, nicaragua.  often when the crisis period has passed, old sexist patterns emerge, antagonism develops, and political solidarity is weakened. . . many womyn who would like to participate fully in liberation struggles (the fight against imperialism, racism, classism) are drained of their energies because they are continually confronting and coping with sexist discrimination, exploitation, and oppression.