field guide to oneness

by e.c. belli

It does not begin in an empty room, as one would
expect. The field you are standing in does not look
onto nothing. In fact, there is no field. Imagine
instead a crowded setting. The clinking and gloomy
chatter concerned with politics or matters
of worse importance,
everlasting. And then the dream of standing
in a field that looks onto nothing
itself everlasting. To know oneness, one must
first be surrounded. There are good places to go
like airports in bad weather and where they sell
puppies, silver jewelry. Also the Natural History museum
where you learn that amoebas look just like
constellations. Marriages are fine places too.
There is swarming there, and it often gets
very warm. That’s what I have found. To discover
true oneness, one must first know deep affection.
Mutual dedication. Additionally, the range of tragic
emotions oneness can offer
is best experienced without warning. The surprise
of the onset is key
to experiencing the full bludgeon to the heart
oneness can deliver. If you plan well and fall
into situations such as the death
of a loved one, or your mother
suddenly forsakes you, as they do, or if
by chance you are stumbling back into the world,
naked and born anew after a long
and tender relationship,
you are lucky. Oneness will come
easily. It is important to remember
however, that after oneness settles, it may be tough
To remove. Like blood and indelible markers, the sections
of the mind oneness perches itself onto can be hard
to reset. Similarly to radioactivity
its effects can be felt for years. Benefits
however include an ability to pick up your roots
from under your skirt and graft yourself
from one setting
to another while experiencing a minimal amount
of heartbreak. Benefits also include sitting
in an empty room feeling complete, or standing
in a field that looks onto
nothing, not wondering why things are as they are.
Close relatives to oneness include seclusion,
solitude, some others too. Watch for them
at night especially, at dusk often,
in couples and busy cities. Sometimes also on television.