a flight and a return

quotes from the book the labyrinth of solitude by octavio paz

from "the pachuco and other extremes"

"his whole being is sheer negative impulse, a tangle of contradictions, an enigma.  even his very name is enigmatic: pachuco, a word of uncertain derivation, saying nothing and saying everything.  it is a strange word with no definite meaning; or, to be more exact, it is charged like all popular creations with a diversity of meanings."

 "the pachuco has lost his whole inheritance: language, religion, customs, beliefs.  he is left with only a body and a soul with which to confront the elements, defenseless against the stares of everyone.  his disguise is a protection, but it also differentiates and isolates him: it both hides him and points him out."

"one of the principles that rules in north american fashions is that clothing must be comfortable, and the pachuco, by changing ordinary apparel into art, makes it 'impractical'.  hence it negates the very principles of the model that inspired it.  hence its aggressiveness.
this rebelliousness is only an empty gesture, because it is an exaggeration of the models against which he is trying to rebel, rather than a return to the dress of his forebears or the creation of a new style of his own.  eccentrics usually emphasize their decision to break away from society - either to form new and more tightly closed groups or to assert their individuality - through their way of dressing.  in the case of the pachuco there is an obvious ambiguity: his clothing spotlights and isolates him, but at the same time it pays homage to the society he is attempting to deny."

"he knows that it is dangerous to stand out and that his behavior irritates society, but nevertheless he seeks and attracts persecution and scandal.  it is the only way he can establish a more vital relationship with the society he is antagonizing.  as a victim, he can occupy a place in the world that previously had ignored him; as a delinquent, he can become one of its wicked heroes.
i believe that the north american's irritation results from his seeing the pachuco as a mythological figure, and therefore, in effect, a danger.  his dangerousness lies in his singularity.  everyone agrees in finding something hybrid about him, something disturbing and fascinating.  he is surrounded by an aura of ambivalent notions: his singularity seems to be nourished by powers that are alternately evil and beneficient."

 "when he thrusts himself outward, it is not to unite with what surrounds him but rather to defy it.  this is a suicidal gesture, because the pachuco does not affirm or defend anything except his exasperated will-not-to-be.  he is not divulging his most intimate feelings: he is revealing an ulcer, exhibiting a wound.  a wound that is also a grotesque, capricious, barbaric adornment."

"but his solitude is vaster and profounder than his sense of inferiority.  it is impossible to equate these two attitudes: when you sense that you are alone, it does not mean that you feel inferior, but rather that you feel you are different.  also, a sense of inferiority may sometimes be an illusion, but solitude is a hard fact.  we are truly different.  and we are truly alone."

"our solitude has the same roots as religious feelings.  it is a form of orphanhood, an obscure awareness that we have been torn from the All, and an ardent search: a flight and a return, an effort to re-establish the bond that unite us with the universe."

"our cult of death is also a cult of life, in the same way that love is a hunger for life and a longing for death.  our fondness for self-destruction derives not only from our masochistic tendencies but also from a certain variety of religious emotion."

"it is possible that what we call 'sin' is only a mythical expression of our self-consciousness, our solitude.  i remember that in spain during the civil war i had a revelation of 'the other man' and of another kind of solitude: not closed, not mechanical, but open to the transcendent."