afterkill

i went for the throat
my throat
said too much
coughed up blood
two fingers to the windpipe

i went for the head
against the wall or floor
my head
smashing?  i can't remember
something rattled, came loose

i went for the fluids
drained every organ, orifice
my openings
scratched the definition of skin
which is the real
which has its limits

was there a gun or a knife or
a car or ice was there a fall
on rocks or fumes or pills was it
spring or evening what
was swallowed where
did it lead

i went for the walk
in good company,
my desire.
a train approached, a whistle.

i let go of my hand

3.22.13