love/death

from a brief history of thought by luc ferry

"stoicism here anticipated one of the most profound insights of psychoanalysis: that he who remains the prisoner of his past will always be incapable of 'acting and enjoying', as freud said. . . stoicism would teach its disciples to part ways with those ideologies that promote the virtue of hope."

"contrary to the commonplace idea that one 'cannot live without hope', hope is the greatest of misfortunes.  for it is by nature an absence, a lack, a source of tension in our lives."

"there are moments when we seem to be here not to transform the world, but simply to be part of it, to experience the beauty and joy that it offers to us.  for example, you are in the sea, scuba diving, and you put on your mask to look at the fish.  you are not there to change things, to improve them, or to correct them; you are there to admire and accept things."

"we must learn to content ourselves with the present, to love the present to the point of desiring nothing else and of regretting nothing whatsoever."

"there are moments, instants when we have the rare experience of being completely reconciled to the world. . . to see to it that life as a whole resembles such moments: that is the fundamental project of stoic wisdom. it is at this point that we touch on something resembling salvation, in the sense that nothing further can trouble a serenity which comes from the extinguishing of fears concerning other dimensions of time."

"both religion and philosophy are closely linked, through their attempt to conquer anxiety over human mortality."

"the implacable and blind fate of the ancients gives way to the benevolent wisdom of an individual who loves us as individuals, and in a way that no one else loves us.  it is love that becomes the key to salvation.  but, this is not love in the usual sense; it is what christian thinkers will call 'love in god'."

"this leads us to the second characteristic: love is stronger than death.  what link can there be between the sentiment of love and the question of what can save us from mortality and death?  it is simplest to start from the christian proposition that there are, fundamentally, three faces of love, which between them form a coherent 'system'.  first, there is the love that we might call 'love-as-attachment': in the sense that we are bound to another, to the point of not being able to imagine life without this other.  we can experience this love as much within the family as with a lover.  on this point, christians were united with stoics and buddhists in viewing this love as the most dangerous and least enlightened of all.  not only because it risks diverting us from our true duties towards god, but also because it cannot survive death and it cannot tolerate rupture and change.  aside from the fact that it is usually possessive and jealous, love-as-attachment stores up for us the worst of all sufferings - the loss of loved ones."

"at the opposite extreme is what we might call 'compassion': a love that drives us to care for strangers when they are in need. . . and, finally, there is 'love-in-god'.  here and only here is the ultimate source of salvation, which, for christians, will prove stronger than death."

"you will remember that stoicism regards the fear of death as the greatest obstacle to the happy life (likewise in buddhism).  and this anxiety is not without its connection to love.  in simple terms there is an apparently insurmountable contradiction between love, which leads to attachment, and death, which leads to separation.  if the law of this world is one of finiteness and mutability, and if, as the buddhists maintain, everything is 'impermanent' - changing and perishable - then we sin by lack of wisdom if we attach ourselves to things or persons that are mortal."

"the ideal condition in which to die is one where you have abandoned everything, inwardly and outwardly, so that there should be, at this crucial moment, the least possible longing, desire or attachment to which the soul can cling.  this is why, before dying, we should free ourselves from all our goods, friends and family." -sogyal rinpoche, the tibetan book of living and dying

"it is unjust that men should attach themselves to me, even though they do it with pleasure and voluntarily.  i should deceive those in whom i evince this desire; for i am an end for no person, and have not the wherewithal to satisfy them.  am i not about to die?  and thus the object of their attachment will die.  therefore, as i would be culpable in causing a falsehood to be believed, though i should employ gentle persuasion, though it should be believed with pleasure, and though it should give me pleasure; even so i am culpable in making myself loved.  and if i attract persons to attach themselves to me, i should warn those who are ready to consent to such a lie that they should not believe it, whatever advantage i might derive from it; and likewise that they ought not to attach themselves to me; for they should be spending their life and their efforts in pleasing god, or in seeking him." - pascal, pensees

"the reason why this grief had penetrated me so easily and so deeply, was that i had poured my soul out onto quicksand by loving a person sure to die, as if he would never die." - augustine, confessions

we must ensure that "our soul does not become stuck and glued to these transient things by loving them through the physical senses.  for as these perishable creatures pass along the path of things that race towards non-existence, they rend the soul with pestilential desires, and torment it without cease; for the soul loves to be in them and take its repose among the objects of its love.  but in these things there is no point of rest, for they are impermanent, they flee away and cannot be followed with the bodily senses.  no one can fully grasp them even while they are present." -augustine, confessions