conqueror mentality

conqueror mentality

first genevieve wrote this::::

the way that you deny something to be true unless you see it yourself. the way that you exploit and excuse in the name of something greater. you make fires. you build and destroy. build and destroy. build and destroy. i am soulfully woefully sad at the way you have treated me. it is a wound to my heart, to my spirit, to my desire for community, and harmony. you have spat upon it sat upon it. you sit atop your throne of make-believe. i have to keep from hating myself for giving you my heart for so many years, for taking you seriously, for believing that you meant even one damn thing you said.  i still don't know what the lesson is in that for me. you play a mean game. you play to win.

which inspired me to write this::::

a body you nor i chose but must

go about our days in

clothed, putting on

tiered attitudes

fumbled excuses

binary is just a code

developed to advance the program

it enhances your screened performances

(the luddite has faded fast)

gotta follow the money

the maker

i'm listening to the tempo and the tone shifting

there are music videos & there are children's stories

conversations about what's real

what's revolution

you're still putting your experience

at center stage, searching

for allies, looking guarded and

blank

what happens

when someone is more

than anatomy, audience, admiring,

more than you have practiced

allowing room, allotting land for

you are territorial

preferential, who assigned you

the stage is huge, you are not

my friend. you and i,

we have brought our

conqueror selves to these plays

of power, these dictionaries

of definitions. i am cataloged

by paper cards & reduced to pulp

and burning. you pulse

and click and misfire

in the distance. offering

speed and seduction, eyestrain

& headaches, the empires

are sold and bought without melody.

here, i am running

my hand over my own skin.

this is not make believe.

i've always had a heart, a brain,

belief, belonging. never to you,

never to you. i whisper,

scream, cajole, prophesize.

no matter.

you! your prison is the worst!

it's invisible

only to

you

12.6.11 (thanks gen!!!!!!)