with eyes bigger than

with eyes bigger than

i'm familiar with exceptions,

with the unavailable.

i have many sweet teeth tucked under pillows,

(unable to leave) the last peppermints for others.

i swear, sharing comes easy to me,

except when a fucking addict is involved.

did you set up shop in my psyche

with unlocked windows, slashed screens?
you rage all night, strange halfdreams
complete with strobe lights & house music.
like a home filled with moths breeding
in the pantry, you hid for months

behind fog machines, in jars & folded sheets.

i'm regularly in love with slow humans 

who resemble caterpillars & maybe eggs, 

cocoon versions of the possible. like a biologist,

my curiosity fixates on migrations, antennae,

hypotheses. the unavailable corners of me

hide from a turn of the lens. tucked in attics,

under white coats, stacks of papers live

with words like this is a poem, sit down.

i am so in love with the idea of you,

stay. in and out you go, a breeze, a clap of

thunder, thursday. a stone

turned over and over in my hand.

you'd be as gentle as i can be
cruel, soft like something simple, a bed

of edible flowers, even your elbows,

your weak knees. outside a landlocked

bakery, i dream of elaborate pastries,

all false, a mirage on display.

sweetness has a cost and a thirst. i pace

the perimeter, take measurements

with the microscope. nothing computes

according to calculation. careful now,

dodging whispers of not enough,

my breath holds, my hand, unsatisfied, salty.

this desire grows blue & bluer.

could my eyes get any bigger, will my stomach

stop! backflips and nosedives

really, i shouldn't have swallowed

all those fancy butterfly looks. but they had

such shiny sugary wings

3.17.12