Tuesday, November 29, 2011

nurses in the distance

nurses in the distance

flash! faces spilled
like photos & blips
over the screen, under the bed
on wheels rolling into murky margins

someone patrols parameters in soft shoes
of disbelief, of dying
the edges have never been properly shaped
into alphabet or spiderweb

you try describing purgatory

caught in the gray day
of late autumn between the white
heat of summer and the slow
shadowed shell of winter

i remember now, these days will grow
on me, we'll mark them
with calendars & with ink,
don't forget the moons

the computers & the pens with all their clicking
fingers & wrists, charts & palms
even-handed, we'll be able to draw
perspective, conclusions, self-portraits,


that didn't hurt now,
did it?


Saturday, November 26, 2011

the containment of numbers

the containment of numbers

unlike capitalism

with its military borders
and strategies of suppression

i gave it all away

offered skin breath blood
miracles & embryos

the moon circled quickly

like a dog protecting kin
or chasing tail

my kindness did backbends

building & rebuilding that bridge
fixing, moderating, policing, misunderstanding

the long haul is full of undesirable tasks

halfway, actually much farther,
i stood steady on the arch


stars dancing into the rain
your bomb split the sky

in two or more lifetimes

trauma without apology
you emerged a proud patriot

from fire i fell

into wind then water
like trash blown towards the river

the voice underneath made itself known

refuse! to believe in divine indifference
commit! to the current of cold pain

my skin finds itself

waterproof, my blood
constructed out of fire

i had chosen you each day

two thousand four
hundred and fifty two of them

backwards counting to dedicate myself i

speak! into the jar
millions of moments, each time

reflect!  reclaim!  return!

the lid as
each day

i am through


Friday, November 25, 2011



with longer hair she came
toward me last night
feet firm

or the earth
soft i don’t believe she knew why
she visited i don’t
believe she thought the names

off faces
like mine but words
in familiar patter lapped over

:look for things that shine.
loaves of bread. and small
boxes of light:

with that before
waking and following
her i turned straight
into a fox

summer 2008

Thursday, November 24, 2011

we are wiser then we remember

we are wiser then we remember

there you were, in my dream
now sitting behind me & speech
is labored, who are you
what are you and why now

-but if i lit the candle in your hand-

the eyes
can't ask
or answer

there was no anger, no dance
no songs, no memory

-and if you washed out my palms-

could the silence discern a rhythm?
the draw-near, the give-space
this language of want and stability

troughs of waves, family and familiar
crests of suddenly! and nows

-would us, the force, inexplicably be prayer?-

as though we knew the two words
long ago, sent ourselves
the sleep dreams
and the sorrows

one of the words is great
the other is


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

my life on fire

my life on fire

we've built it solid
wood all these years
no escape route
no water

some sticks
a bit of paper
words in shades of gray
the ordinary: journal page, love letter

it got hot sometimes
the candles got close
dry & windy
perfect night for a burn

it was my birthday
you had a cake
blazing a crush
in the front yard

what went up in smoke?
i missed it, it was so quick
we were not a prayer
this was asphyxiation

and i saw the light

the moon pulled its way into scorpio
with stakes wooden and high
you were just a six year spark
guess all that magic wasn't big enough

now the sun has entered the arc of fire
and i'm fit to be lit again
this time, my hand
this time, my choice

i lit the shit
the wicks, the leaves
the resin, braid of grass
i licked each thankful letter shut

counted from A for absolute
to D for dude
this is the after-death
nothing but teeth & bones

every petal drops it's wing
the dirt turns upon itself
i burn you out in anger
this time it's prayer

i burn myself through chants of death
down upper handed high roads
by my own clasped hands, i flash, i ignite
for once, for all